I must disrupt this. Put a ripple to cast a thousand waves shaken by a moment. A whirlpool if no other gratified by the less reasonable gods, my nod  to the pickers of the hung backs and perhaps  plumbers ass from seeking seed from cherry.  This is my moment.  My epic John Wayne blacker than soul, blacker than hell, blacker than night to create a internal struggle with my insomniac mind teetering between dusk and when  babies suckle at their pacifiers, greeting the infamous Sandman that alludes me.  I must disrupt this. Cup of black rain and indulge what my nerves do not necessitate. I dare hesitate sniffing and grinning, my own silent treatment of alone time that I  hoard over like the last piece of meat in a dog's bowl. Do I even begin to be a little less cowgirl and more Ice cream parlor patron, sprinkling unnecessary sweet on the heavy cold world that tries to screw me over? I won't even give a strong nod to the  reason why I must sugarco...

A slow syringe dances in my vein Euphoric contents unmeasurable in CC's and  needle pushing administration held in disdain. You are my addiction. My glazed eyes and pupils bright Dilated and fixated on skin taught, which I must fight. Remove  the sweet temptation I dare to kiss the nape of your neck The ridges of muscular pathways to the happy trail and I lick to make wet. Who can justify the slavery in which you  captivate me Addiction knows knows my name And I respond with undesirable boundaries as you are my dependency-and You are the definition Of what love means Paradise in my eyes You make me forget about the others before you You’re a state of honesty While I was living in a city of lies We exist in a bubble Every time we’re together Nothing bigger than this moment we share As the world is crashing down I am not worried I have you…honored to breathe in the same air The oxygen in my nostrils flowing to my brain Cells to the blood pumping, addiction calls...

an impression. the gentle and subtle hint of where your everlasting thumb print kissed the inner linings of what i have missed. and i missed you. grieved the tears of a faux funeral complete with Hail Mary's/Amazing Grace/baby's breath and coffin lined inner lace. i mourned you. mourned not the death of you going to the infinite land of non-living because your presence here shows that your breath was worth giving and i see you before me not a mirage hidden surprise you are, yet your body tells lies. here. but not here. i grieve. Grieve because I am losing you have lost you will lose you. the inevitable of Glady's Knights "Neither one of Us" plays on repeat i nod my head in comparison as I weep trying to show my faith in what was but cannot be you have left that lasting impression on me. your thumb print. I still feel the heat upon my skin as you touched the coldness of me we were naked skin glossed by sweat in the moonlight and fruitless enemies impregnated by raw...

You are lethal to me. A slow poison Of contagious But slowly anxious Passionate lovin’ Is it a dream Or reality I’m muttering… You make me high You make me low You make me sing You make me moan I’m stuttering/staggering Move in me closer Deeper still Nothing else/ I’m wanting I desire you like ecstasy’s pill I desire you like My body needing a fix The way you move The way you sway You make me wanna Kiss your succulence But I can’t Your kiss is toxic Your love no/ logic And it saddens me to see How I dropped the crown off my head And make a weaker me. I can not love you. Even though I went deeper. Deeper than the ocean’s bliss Still waters run/ enclose me I can’t be your kiss You are lethal to me. Even though your touch is -Heavenly- Your voice -Gravitates- (me) I can not force myself to be Your original high By the way you Ascend me. Even though your stiffness Is the best upon my Clitoris- I can’t let you Get next to this Because my love is genuine And yours... just isn’t...