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To Do Lists and To Not to Do...That is the Question :)

Ok...so what's up with the mental block? Kinda like the block I get at 10:00 in the morning between making bottles and cleaning last night's dishes because I was too tired.

Am I stuck in a fog?

The kinda dense fog where completion and ending are the same but seem miles and worlds apart. The kind of dense fog where writing becomes monotonous, college courses become a pain in the ass, and I become fashion roadkill from another day in sweats and a t-shirt.

Aaaahhhhh! What does this all mean? A mid-life crisis...Wait-I'm only twenty five. Okay...stuck in monotony. Or a valley. Or a spiritual hiatus. Whatever you want to call it, I'm official there. Between the post-baby muffin-topped stomach and the insane list of "to do's" when I just want to "to not do." Could I be bored with my life, right now? Could I be just too damn tired to do anything? Could I be all work and no play? Or the kind of person whose life evolves around their child and then the mother grows up resenting the child....Oh No!!! Is my life...stuck?

Well, let's analyze this situation right now. Currently looking for a position to highlight my experience in the healthcare field. Check. Full time mother. Check. Full time homemaker. Check. In a relationship. Check. Full time college student earning an Associates in Healthcare Administration. Check.

Too many damn checks, if you ask me.

That's what it's about. Too many damn checks on the list. Too many checks on the list to enjoy the unchecked things in life: traveling. shopping. enjoying different cultures. different environments. trying something new. adapting to new surroundings. being spontaneous.

Not enough of that is checked off, if you ask me.

I mean, isn't that what life is about? Doing things off the list of your "to do's"??? Being spontaneous, and just riding the wave of life? Too much routine gives off negativity. monotony. bad vibes. Sometimes just knowing that you are going to re-live the same thing over and over again via "Groundhog's Day"-your mental psyche and physical stamina just diminishes!

So it's time for me to do some living. Worrying about me first, because I cannot give to others if I am a wreck myself. Yeah...I will do that.

Love me again. Treat me again. Have "me" time (again).

Kinda hard for me to do, but I will work on it.
Join me. There's room for one more for a trip to enlightenment.

-Beverly R. Rivera

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