Just to Get By.

We do so much just to get by.

Here I sit, cigarette in one hand and glass of Mirassou in the other-waiting and hoping to get by. To find the relief at the end of the tunnel, the light that is awaiting me in better times. For times were not always like this. I was happy once. Smiling. Hopeful and less bitter. Do I wait on the best of times to get me through the worst of times? What if my prayers are not reached, my call out from a cry is not heard or the embrace that I need is not felt? I am so much more. So much more than hips and ass swaying for the man to lick his lips in pure desire. I am so much more. I am intelligence and class and full of personality and spunk. I have made it this far through faith-even when I thought I did not have it. Because it takes faith. It takes hope and pure desire to live to want to continue-even as I am just trying to get by. We do so much just to get by. Some like to bury their heads in pillows sleeping through the storm. Some like to inhale weeds from the earth to produce a trance like state of happiness. Some like to eat their emptiness to fill their waistline. And some like to smoke cigarettes followed by a shot of anything on the rocks. We get by. We cope. We do what we have to do to get through hurt and pain-anger and acceptance. I will not stay here, in this moment just coping. I will not cry my eyes out hoping for a better day. I will react. I will get by doing. I will get by through achieving. They say the best revenge is living well. I will live well. I will be just fine. But for this moment, I am getting by one cigarette down, one wine glass in left hand.

We go through so much, and we are just trying to get by.