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Anti-New Years

I hate New Years Resolutions.

There, I said it. I don't make them because I do not keep them. I despise them because others falsely imprison their minds to believe that they can do them. And what really ticks me off is the vague and loose words called "diets" or "exercise" instead of "lifestyle change." Why torment yourself? Why try to make a promise that you know that you will ultimately break. And why oh why do it just to bring in a New Year?

If that is the case, a resolution needs to be made at the acknowledgment of a behavior which adversely creates detriment to one's self-either spiritually, emotionally or physically. An resolution should be made at the time of acknowledgment; otherwise waiting for that crap to snowball into more crap creates...more crap. Besides, what makes one happy should not be waited upon for a new year.

Every year, drunks get together at parties full of noisemakers and programmed to Dick Clark to sing Auld Lang Syne and forget the words. We know that we are supposed to bring in the year with someone we love, but forget how to love that person throughout the year. How stupid.

Instead, I choose to watch the peach drop in my Atlanta home. Let's see: two years and I have missed two peach drops since my relocation. The first New Year's I was pregnant, fat and oh so miserable with hyperemesis. Puke and the smell of the apartment next door's cooking make me beyond sick, so I rolled over and said Happy New Years and promptly went back to sleep. The fun times. :) Now, last year I was with my boyfriend via Instant Messenger and video call. I had my son with me back home in Delaware and brought it in with my best friend and a stiff drink. That was a good year. And this year? Well, right now my man is at the store buying some Amaretto and getting some good Thai food takeout. Our son will try to stay up tonight, but he will probably pass out on the floor. How cute. And we will watch Dick Clark and good movies and then kiss at the stroke of midnight. I guess it's tradition.

I wonder what everyone else would be doing on New Year's. My Papi has to work. My Mom and Stepdad will be at church. My sister...haven't talked to her yet today, but I am pretty sure that she will have a drink and a good time. Wish that we were all together. If we were? Hell, look out because we would get cute as hell and bar hop. Probably go to Reagans on West Side. Or a nice restaurant and chill. Whatever it is, we would be together. Oh, the holidays. Gets me happy, but makes me sad. Wish that we were all together. I miss my Mommy, my sister Devina...Mr. Ray and my little DJ. I miss my bad ass pooch Midnight and I even miss the immobilizing snow from back home that buries your car in. I miss the flavors of a Yatz' sub in my mouth, or even the ordinary WaWa. Fuck the Quicktrip here in ATL. I miss Now & Laters, Herr's Potato can only get greasy ass Lay's here. I miss Philly Cheesesteaks and all the Puerto Ricans as mi familia on Esperenza's porch during any season. I miss home.

Yeah, I miss home.

Well, that's it for now. I guess I will tell you my anti-New Year's cliche resolution: to make no more resolutions. I will just try to live my life a little better, one day at a time. Acknowledge my rights and wrongs to become my strengths. And always love myself and my family to the day I die.

Happy New Years everyone. Be blessed.

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