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I am now fighting the battle of the bulge.

Notice the discontent within my writing. The hatred. The disposition. Hating the word "diet" I have divulged myself to completely rid that word from my vocabulary, and introduce a new term: Lifestyle Change. That's right, folks. I am changing my life from my physical and emotional state. Fuck this. I can't carry around extra pounds and become more depressed only to eat more and then be more depressed about extra pounds gained from depression. Did you keep up with that? That's right; it's a vicious cycle. However, I do notice that I have little problems with the types of foods that I choose to eat. I have a problem with the motivation of exercise. Getting a new Gold's Gym Treadmill has helped a lot. I sweat my pores out into puddles oozing from my skin and glistened with happiness. Finally, I can walk in rain, sleet or snow. No matter what the excuse, I have no excuse. I can exercise entirely within my home when weather does not permit a nice walk or jog on the trail in my local park. I followed up my walk with a nice breakfast of an egg and whole wheat bread. A cup of coffee tasted great on my tongue, and I allowed myself to savor and sip instead of gulp. I drank a cup of water before eating, and allowed myself to fill up on liquids. I can do this. I can. Just the motivation part gets me.

I wonder if other's have this problem. With motivation. To begin things only to stop. Grant it, we all have various reasons for not taking better care of our minds, bodies and spirit. We complain about the hours within our jobs, the babies we care for, and the utter tiredness accompanying them all. I have decided that it is all about me this time, and to stay motivated with myself. If I cannot take care of myself, how the hell do I care for others? How do I be there for my son with complete happiness? How to I care for my mind and dig myself out of the constant anxiety and depression? The answer is simple. I control my destiny, my thoughts, my behaviors. No one but me. Influence can come from any open mouth, however my choice is within myself. Even if I do not choose, a choice arises from a situation. Living by default will no longer be that cup of tea which I sip.

Regardless if I have a strong support system or not, I have decided to make a better effort. My efforts have been strong thus far, but it is the motivation that I struggle with. No longer wanting to start and then stop things, I have decided to stay motivated through positive words through my mind. If I feed myself positivity, I will see positive results.

Positive thought of the day: Damn, I'm fly. :)


Be blessed in your efforts within motivation today.


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