To Give A Little...And Gain A Lot

"A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way

that everyone believes he has the biggest piece"

~Ludwig Erhard~

The art of the compromise is exceedingly needed to not only make a relationship thrive, but make a relationship survive. Such advice is needed in the heat of an argument, where both sides do not see eye to eye and declare each other sworn enemies under the heat of angry words. Women as emotional creatures-and I say this to all my ladies of no disrespect-are often epitomized as such this, without seeing fallacies within the human nature of a woman and their effective argument. To give an inch is to take a mile from a woman. And men? Men as egotistical creatures-and I say this with no disrespect to the men-seek to know it all, understand it all and be it all. It is with disrespect that a man seek the advice of directions when assembling a crib for their newborn baby-"I am man, let me put build and know this even without reading" probably isn't a great idea. However, the man needs to equate this thinking-this ego-to boost their morale, their knowledge, their expansion. The woman-the emotional creature, the mothering and nurturing-gets the directions to assemble the crib. Why? Because the safety of our child is first, and as a woman-we nurture the ideas of what man has put forth, but tend to be safe..."just in case."

In this politically correct world, we are oft to see the vicious cycle of men versus women. Women do not want to be labeled too sensitive or too weak, but we demand chivalrous actions, such as a man opening our door or pulling out our chair. We love to be independent and free without pantyhose and bra straps restricting us-yet a man puts a choke hold everyday in the form of a tie. Men do not want to be known as ego trippers or a liar, cheater and those other unfriendly names. However, men do not want to expand their ideas, communications and body language that would signal the woman otherwise. To put it simply, men and women communicate differently. We argue differently. We see different perspectives, have different goals, see different dreams.

To love someone, we must enable ourselves to compromise and gain that middle ground-to bridge that gap that has got us yelling at each other for hours on end. The same argument that may have been relevant at one point may not be relevant in the future.

I would like to get a big slice of that cake, but sometimes it just isn't worth the hassle, headache and energy that is needed. Sometimes that slice can be obtained through less selfish means. Sometimes you can please yourself and your partner through compromise.

If not?

Maybe you'll be eating that whole cake alone.

-b.r.rivera