To speak and to speak well are two things.
A fool may talk, but a wise man speaks.
This is about to get real. If you are not real-if you hate the truth. Stop reading my blog. Seriously. Turn away. Because the truth hurts.
It is exceptional when one thinks of a conversation. The magical impact which happens between two people. Think about it: we have a giver and receiver. Hopefully, both with two ears to listen and one mouth that hopefully closes. It is a reason we have two ears. It is a reason which we have one mouth. If that flew right over your head; maybe you need to shut the fuck up.
Between the giver and the receiver-there is a dialogue. This dialogue occurs when a monologue happens-a conversion of words, phrases and expressions. Integrated within this monologue is bodily and facial expressions which foretell emotions and subtleties that are not verbally said.
This giver and receiver share this monologue that should be-essentially, a dialogue where two minds share and interplay within their conversation. What is the end result? Hopefully a great dialogue between a person and some lasting impressions-a stimulation of the mind and comfort, compassion or passion to give an reaction. This reaction could include a laugh, smile, feedback or even adverse negative energy.
Now that we have mastered what a conversation should be-let me tell you what it shouldn't be.
Ever notice that you can't stand those "know it all's"? People whom "know" what you are going to say, "answer" your statement before a question was posed, and "understand" without a possible concept? This is the worst conversation that you can ever have-one that has no means to an end. I call this a catch 22.
Just moments ago, I was in a catch 22 with my boyfriend. Yeah. I don't care if this shit is on blast-because like I said; I want this blog to be real. What really irk's me-what really bothers me is the idealizations and polar opposite mentality which two people can actually share. I say I love going left-he will say go right! Just to piss me off. I say Tomato-he says "Tomahto". What do they say? Apples and Oranges. Yeah-but I don't want to make a freaking fruit drink. I want conversation.
What I realize about my boyfriend-and many men whom are "Mama's Boys" is that their mother and any other lady figure in their life will NEVER be wrong. Their mother could just have robbed the bank, have purple ink on their hands from leaving with triggered bags from the teller wearing a freaking "Dead President's" mask-and guess what happens? Nope. Wasn't her. Not my Momma. The truth of the matter is-I was taught better than that. Right or wrong can come from flesh and blood. Shit-sometimes flesh and blood will treat you worse than your own enemy. Believe it. Digest it. Let's move on.
Primarily what is the cause of this dialogue breakdown is not the ill relationship between his mother and I. She stays on her side of the street-I stay on mine. I want no parts of her and probably never will. I prefer it that way. The truth of the matter is that my emotional state of the once hate that filled my body for her no longer exists-because she no longer has that control over me. I forgive her. I forgive myself. And I moved on.
But the conversation of this Catch 22 that I was talking about still exists: The "Mr. I know it all." He knows it all. He knows it because he lives it, he breathes it, he owns it, he knows it, he sanctifies it, he bathes in it. He idealizes it, strengthens his own lies with it, and barely sympathizes with the truth once he sees it. The Mr. I know it all does not let enough dialogue come in. He's not only right about his mother and his picture perfect image of her-he is right about everything else that circles his life.
Yeah. I told you this shit was gonna get real.
The truth of the matter is, my MomMom-God rest her beautiful soul-said it perfectly: "Not everyone can be wrong."
Just as idealized is this truth is the truth that you can call the kettle black, can't paint lipstick on a pig, or when it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck-you damn skippy it's a duck.
Quack-Quack, Mr. Know it All.
Idealistically and even more known is the quiet indicator of humanness. Of maturity. Of desire to acknowledge right from wrong. It is not humanness to tell someone that they have a lot of growing up to do. It is not "Christian" to tell someone to "fend for them self." It is not right to dictate someones life in a cruel Electra-Complex that stems from insecurity. My philosophy in life that drives me to be the best person I can be also came from the witty and downright truth of my MomMom's knowledge:
"You can be your own worst enemy."
Yes. You. You can be your own worst enemy. In those harsh words, in those cutting eyes, in that misguided body language and hidden demeanor. You. When you look at yourself in the mirror-you only see you. A reflection of self. Your words, those words that have power-should be eloquently spoken and thought about before one speaks.
It is hard to understand a fast talker, right? Normally their words are forced from their mouth from the bottom of their larynx but not from the heart. It is hard to speak a position of class, grace and knowledge when one yells on top of each other. Does not take the position to understand. To listen. To have empathy upon a person. To be at a certain level of maturity when it is a necessity.
Knowing what you know now-there is a power of the dialogue. It is not just words yapped from the top of your lungs or a thought that does not integrate itself within a powerful or witty way. There is a art to conversation. There is an way to talk, a way to be talked to, and a way to display one's emotions. Just because words exchange between two people-doesn't necessarily mean that it is a good conversation-or better yet-a conversation at all.
Within a great dialogue-know that there is a maturity that is needed. A level of knowing and understanding that involves the question-"What if I am wrong?" "What if there is another perception...another way to look at this?"
What if you were truly wrong at something you said?
What if you did not convey your message in the way that it was intended?
What if your body language told something that your words didn't?
What if your facial expressions showed something that your words didn't even come close to?
What if silence is the best thing that a person can hear from you?
What if kind words are the best thing that a person has heard all day?
What if.........??? What if?
Two ears-one mouth. Yes. You can be wrong within a conversation. Yes. You can acknowledge your mistakes, harsh words or negative words within a dialogue. Yes-your body language can suck-right along with your facial expressions.
The good thing about knowing? Well, that is half the battle. Let your maturity do the rest.
Discussion is an exchange of knowledge;
argument an exchange of ignorance.