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"As Seen on TV"

No, I do not want your Snuggie.
Or perhaps I do. Either way,
I prefer if you just leave the screen
as its the morning, around 2. Nor do I want
your ass-spray, your tiddy on, the little bear
that sits by your breasts to release the stress
when you have your seatbelt on. Nor do I desire
the Shamwow soaking up a natural mess or the
Burger Slider radiating temperatures as my next
food quest. I don't want no nasty ass shavings of
the PedEgg near or around my human being
And I don't appreciate seeing advertisements of ashiness
Clear across my screen. And eff you, Bendaroos
What kind of material are you made of anyway?
Suppose I get a BumpIt from my hair that
even Snookie from Jersey Shore will adore for a
windy bad hair day. And what the deuce is a
Yoshiblade, and why would I need that anyway?
Suppose my beach body will be sweeter-as
it is my dream to marry my Mr.Jeter-
but is it so necessary to have a slider, glider, rocket and glider
for abs that won't shrink due to a metabolic wasteland
from having a child that instantly turned my hips wider?
No, Billy Mayes (rest in peace) I endured your
20 minute fast talking speech, but please, oh please...

Insomnia-let me get some sleep.


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