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Unplugged.

Sometimes you need a break.

A break is exactly what my mind had and is still getting. Call it "unplugging" if you will, but the constant clicking and clacking, the beeps and noises, the to and fro of the stimuli and noises that were buzzing in my head were all too much for me. Information overload in the head of a poet who already has a million things buzzing in the head. Random lyrics from 90's songs. Recipes from watching Gordon Ramsay on television. The square root of 81 equating to 9. You know. Normal stuff.

Enter me saying screw it all and just taking a step back.

So here I am not feeling so hot. Not feeling so hot about my body and mind. All stressed out and body feeling not so good as well. Chronic pain taking a massive toll on my being and spirit. Trying to defeat me. It did several times already, but I always seemed to bounce back. I don't know what happened. Just one day...one morning, I just decided to wake up and say-

"Fuck it."

Really. I woke up and said "fuck it." I mean, my feet hit the ground, and I was ready to hit the goals that I had in mind. This means me getting better. Doesn't matter how many doctors I had to go to to get better or tests I had to go through. I know I would sit in waiting rooms with out of date bad magazines and such. I was ready for the journey again. Who cares. Let's do it. Let's just get better. Oh, and let's stick with a diet too. Yeah. Let's do that. This means measuring every single frigging crumb you eat. Even if you eat 3 M&M's just write it down. Okay, well that's easy. Found a neat little app for my iPad that did that. Down 18  pounds so far. So let's get on some medicine that works and find a doctor that actually listens to you and takes his time with you. Praise be for that one. Okay. Now let's get you moving around more and more. More each day. Yeah, its going to hurt like hell but fuck it. Isn't that what you said?

Yep.

So that's what I'm sticking to. And I'm feeling great. I'm taking time to myself. I take time to sip my coffee in the morning and read at night. If I find myself getting stressed, I know there's an outlet and other ways to deal with the situation. I am feeling better every day. I still have good and bad days. But at least with the bad days I'm much more thankful.

Sometimes you just need a break.

-bev

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