He is The verge of my addiction The white lines upon a reflected mirror That I use within my bodily system The syringe that is placed upon my vein That I use within my subduction The pill that I swallow with water That dissolves in the beat of my heart to function He is The shake that cannot be shaken The soul that can't get out of my system And the cancerous lesions that metastasize and multiply in a disorganized chaotic fashion He is the end to my means but a beginning to my past The open door with the rugged welcome mat The toxin's fallacy that I indulge to drink The source of my addiction The alcohol in my drink He is The light to my cigarette and the inhalation of my lungs Gathering smoke to a breath of exhalation nicotine to the receptors of my brain which tie me over Which the hit is never done He is the reason I cannot dance The reason which I cannot sing The reason why I cannot smile The flight of full air, he is my broken wing. he is the forced laughter in this tale w...

"Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will." - Jawaharal Nehru Sometimes, we get a shitty hand. I say this with mere bluntness, because it is the truth-and as they say, it will set you free. With this new-found freedom in the realization of this truth, I will not argue with it. As truth is set in stone, one comes to realize that nothing or no one can deviate the fact. Now, this shitty hand that we get may be an accumulation of so many things at one time-we get laid off, and we cannot find another job. The rent is due and damned if the cable is ready to get cut off. Can't afford a landline phone so we get minutes filled on a card to talk wirelessly . The baby is sick, your back hurts and you got to cook in a 1/2 an hour when your favorite television show is ready to come on. I know. I know. Cry. Or snap the hell out. To each their own. Regardless of the inevitable way which we conduct our self fr...

So, if you call me tonight around 8:00 p.m. I will not be answering. Finally, after all the hoopla with the writers strike, the holidays, the football games, the anti-good television, I will be plugged into Ugly Betty followed by Greys Anatomy. And on Sunday? Need I say it? The infamous Jack Bauer returns for a fast thrilling and adrenaline rushed 2 hour premiere (again) on Fox. So, I got my Mom hooked on Ugly Betty. This Americanized telenovela follows the life of a quirky yet get the job done Betty Suarez. Talk about drama. She works for MODE magazine, and after falling for two guys and choosing herself after a short vacation in the world, she is back working under Daniel and is ready to start her exciting internship. I am rooting for Hilda, her sister to finally fall in love again. And what is going to happen to Whilamena when she finally has that surrogate child and tries to take over the Meade empire? Oh, and what is really going on with Daniel's transexual sister that is in j...

Since my "vacation" (notice the quotation marks) is officially over, it's back to the books with my schoolwork. I have noticed that even my 3.83 GPA is being challenged, as newer classes force me to study longer and harder. It's just that I do not want to be "good enough" I want to be the best. How people just get by is beyond me. I was never one of those people-especially academically-to just get by. Call me a suck up, call me a nerd, but I find it personally offensive to lessen myself and standards to just get by. Hell, even if I was a maid I would have the shiniest floors you could possibly imagine. You would practically eat off of my floors and then gleam with a smile as the reflection stared back at you. I have noticed that too many people just get by-forcing themselves to stay in a position of work or employment that does not fit their personality and talents. Such a shame. Regardless if I am just now going to college and not straight out of high schoo...

I am now fighting the battle of the bulge. Notice the discontent within my writing. The hatred. The disposition. Hating the word "diet" I have divulged myself to completely rid that word from my vocabulary, and introduce a new term: Lifestyle Change. That's right, folks. I am changing my life from my physical and emotional state. Fuck this. I can't carry around extra pounds and become more depressed only to eat more and then be more depressed about extra pounds gained from depression. Did you keep up with that? That's right; it's a vicious cycle. However, I do notice that I have little problems with the types of foods that I choose to eat. I have a problem with the motivation of exercise. Getting a new Gold's Gym Treadmill has helped a lot. I sweat my pores out into puddles oozing from my skin and glistened with happiness. Finally, I can walk in rain, sleet or snow. No matter what the excuse, I have no excuse. I can exercise entirely within my home when w...